Workplace bullying: How to deal with colleagues who play unofficial boss

Power struggles and bullying in the workplace are more common than expected.

Office bullies usually create a toxic environment and cause significant stress for their subordinates and the broader office community.

It is not always easy to identify certain behaviours as bullying, especially when they are subtle and veiled behind professional facades.   

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Is an unofficial boss a bully?

Peter Kriel, general manager at the Independent Institute of Education says an attitude where a colleague adopts a sense of self-importance and unofficial authority can come across as office bullying.

“Individuals with this mindset often feel entitled to monitor, correct, or control the actions of their peers, even when they lack the formal authority to do so.”

Impact of unofficial boss on colleagues

Kriel adds that the self-imposed hierarchy can lead to behaviours that undermine the autonomy, confidence, and contributions of others.

The unofficial boss might criticise, belittle, or ‘advise’ under the guise of support, but the effect often enforces their dominance and diminishes others’ value within the team.

“Such attitudes can be harmful even when unconscious, as the underlying implication is that their peers are less competent or need guidance.

“Over time, this approach erodes trust and morale, creating an environment where others feel disempowered, stressed, and undervalued, which aligns with forms of workplace bullying.”

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How to identify workplace bullying?

It is often not easy to identify workplace bullies, however, Kriel lists scenarios in which colleagues would be able to tell if behaviour is legitimately intended as support or guidance, or whether it has crossed over into bullying

“Bullies frequently target others to diminish their credibility, which can include criticising, questioning decisions, or making others seem incompetent. They may ‘sabotage’ work by withholding information or resources, setting their targets up to fail.”

He adds that when a bully is in a position of power, they usually misuse it to control others. This can be seen in how they micromanage excessively, impose unrealistic expectations, or demand work at a moment’s notice to instil a sense of fear and inferiority.

Manipulation

Kriel says workplace bullies often manipulate situations to their advantage. “They may take credit for others’ work, spread rumours, or even lie to tarnish someone’s reputation.”

This behaviour isolates their target and creates doubt in colleagues’ minds.

Bullies like to portray themselves as victims, justifying their actions by saying they are defending themselves or the organisation. “They may suggest that their target is untrustworthy, lazy, or hostile, painting a picture that shifts sympathy toward them and away from the true victim.”

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Other forms of workplace bullying

Bullying in the workplace can be in different forms such as verbal abuse, sarcasm, belittling, and even silent treatment can be common tactics.

He says physical intimidation is usually rare, however, non-verbal cues like glares, sighs, or dismissive gestures and even constant correction to intimidate others subtly can be seen as office bullying

“A bully might engage in gaslighting, where they make the target question their own judgment and sanity.

“They may downplay their actions or suggest that the target is overreacting, leading to self-doubt in the target and confusion about the legitimacy of their concerns.”

Company policies about workplace bullying

“Since bullying is simply wrong and, in many instances, explicitly prohibited in company policies, it is essential to address the behaviour constructively and assertively.

“Doing so would include documenting incidents, setting firm boundaries, seeking support, and escalating the matter to senior management.”

He adds that the first step towards addressing problematic behaviour is to be sure about what you are experiencing and being able to label it.

“If you are clear that you are not being over-sensitive or over-reacting, but that you are the target of a bully, you can start putting in place strategies to address and resolve the issue.”

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